*** For privacy all names in the following true story have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
I teach a Primary class at church. All the children in my class are in their 8th year and are preparing to be baptized. Some have already turned 8 and some are still waiting. Today our lesson was on obeying the law. The lesson started out okay. The children were a little more on the rowdy side than usual. It may have been the play dough that I brought for them to use in a hands on visual aid project that set them off. I'm just saying.
(Side note: The play dough was a little floury and left behind a salty residue. We proceeded without aprons. And I let the children keep their play dough ball at the end of lesson. They didn't let go of it or stop handling all through sharing time. You see where this is going. There is only one thing that can happen here... yep, everyone left looking like they had spent a day in a bakery. Pants and skirts were not meant to be napkins. Note to self... which is likely way more apparent to those who have kids... but bring wet naps next time and little plastic baggies in which to store the dough. I'm a work in progress.)
At any rate it took a while to get settled in the lesson but once settled they were pretty focused. We started discussing what rules are and their purpose. We then moved to rules that God gives us, the commandments. The ultimate plan was then to go on to discuss laws of the land and how as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we believe in obeying the laws of the land. But I digress. Back to the commandments. Several of the children vocalized different commandments.
JoJo: "Don't lie."
Raul: "Don't steal."
Max: "Don't kill. That's really bad."
And then Nan, "Adultery!" Ruh roh. I was secretly hoping they were too young to know that word. She even pronounced it correctly. Then I was hoping that it could be something that could be breezed over by a quick change of the subject. That's when the following scenario unfolded. Before I could recover...
Nan: "That's what the mayor did."
Really?! I knew exactly who she was talking about. Our beloved South Carolina governor who cheated on his wife with a woman in Argentina, on the government dime, while providing very strange public lies about it. It made national news and stayed there... for months. If you somehow missed it you can find it by clicking on the link
Sanford Admits Affair . In an effort to not make a big deal out of the statement I attempted a simple reflection and move to change the subject.
Me: "That IS what the mayor did. Now.."
But I was cut off... by Raul! Who was playing with his play dough and who I thought wasn't even paying attention. Without breaking stride, or even looking up he says...
Raul: "That's what Mayor Sanford did when he went after that woman in Argentina."
Really?! Really. How do they know this stuff? I don't remember being that aware when I was 8. Again, before I can recover and move on...
JoJo: "But what is adultery? What does that mean?"
Great. Now ALL 6 pairs of eyes are focused intently on me. No more playing with play dough. No more nose picking, flicking their neighbor, staring at the ceiling. No... all eyes on me. Deep breath.
Me: "Well, adultery is ... well. When a husband and wife get married the rule is ... they are only supposed to be with each other. Sometimes a mom or a dad might break that rule and have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. But, it is AGAINST THE RULES. It IS NOT ALLOWED. IT SHOULD NEVER EVER HAPPEN."
Somebody save me please. I start to move on. But I was interrupted once again.
JoJo: "What happened to the mayor? Did his wife know? Are they still together?"
You've got to be kidding me.
Me: "His wife was not happy that he BROKE THE RULES. They tried to make it better but the mayor didn't want to follow the rules. They got divorced."
Lots of sad looks... but don't worry. I didn't take a breath. Between the last sentence and...
Me: "Let's talk about laws. What are laws?"
Thankfully they moved on. The rest of lesson went well. Sharing time went well. Despite the fact that they played with their dough balls the entire time they all remained reverent in their activity and paid better attention to sharing time and music time. Weird. Needless to say, when they left for the day they were covered in that salty floury residue and no doubt gearing to report to their parents that their lesson was on "Mayor" Sanford and his affair with the Argentinian homewrecker. I left church knowing that within the hour I would be getting phone calls about the lesson in adultery and the mess in which I sent home their child. Nice.
BTW: It's been 9 hours and no calls. Fingers crossed.
