Let me preface this with... nothing bad has happened .. not to me personally. I just need to vent on the obvious for a minute. So feel free to tune out now.
Life is not fair. I know that. Most of the time it doesn't bother me. It's life. Can't change that. Just part of the experience. My life's chosen profession is surrounded by the unfair in life and honestly most days I don't bat an eye. I go home and don't think twice about it. I think it is a gift that allows me to do what I do. But sometimes... every once in a little while I am reminded of how really unfair things can be... or at least seem. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. I'm a firm believer that there is a consequence for every choice and some of those are immediate and some are not. It's just that sometimes I have a mortal view and a self centered view. And I get a case of the blahs and the boo hisses. And I just want to choke life and make it right for others who deserve only every goodness life has to offer. But then I remember that we can't experience joy without sorrow. And so while I want to give sorrow a swift kick in the pants there is a part of me that is grateful for the struggle it brings, knowing the other side of sorrow is peace.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
easy listening.
I tune in 5 days a week - work days - courtesy of my coworkers baby sized boombox. And Ms. Lauper is playing as I type. That Cindi.... she's a genius. When the working day is done girls... they really do want to have fun. Some fun. Lots of fun. Fun. Wanna have fun. T.G.I.F.!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
triggers.
In my job I deal a lot with the concept of triggers.... not the ones on guns... but same concept. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches... sensory experiences that instantly elicit memories so vivid and real it is as if time has turned back to a specific event or series of events.
Chocolate flavored scratch and sniff stickers take me instantly to elementary school.
The smell of pork flavored green beans mixed with the scent of sauerkraut elicits memories of time spent at my grandparents home.
NKOTB's "Hanging Tough", Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me", and Fleetwood Mac's "Everywhere" throws me back to summers at the beach with my cousins. Every time.
White Diamonds perfume takes me to middle school... instantly... and reminds me of my mother and my secret irrational fear that I would lose her. I would secretly spray her perfume on this stuffed bunny I kept on the night stand by my bed just in case something happened and I never saw her again. I was so afraid I would forget her.... that my memories would fade.
Today, I was at the Piggly Wiggly picking up some tomatoes for dinner and I happened to choose the one line where the grocery checker reminded me instantly of my Uncle Al. He passed away unexpectedly September 2011. The man in front of me didn't look like my uncle, but he wore his pants like my uncle and he talked to me sweet and southern... like my uncle. He was a bit younger and a bit thinner but I had to blink several times to be sure I wasn't seeing a ghost. The feeling was so real, so present, that it was all I could not to walk around the other side of the counter and ask him to hug me... like my Uncle Al. Needless to say I barely made it to my car before tears started rolling down my face. I love my uncle dearly and miss him tremendously but his memories are strong with me. I am grateful for memories and for little experiences that remind me of how grateful I am for eternity and eternal families... of love that continues beyond the grave.
Chocolate flavored scratch and sniff stickers take me instantly to elementary school.
The smell of pork flavored green beans mixed with the scent of sauerkraut elicits memories of time spent at my grandparents home.
NKOTB's "Hanging Tough", Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me", and Fleetwood Mac's "Everywhere" throws me back to summers at the beach with my cousins. Every time.
White Diamonds perfume takes me to middle school... instantly... and reminds me of my mother and my secret irrational fear that I would lose her. I would secretly spray her perfume on this stuffed bunny I kept on the night stand by my bed just in case something happened and I never saw her again. I was so afraid I would forget her.... that my memories would fade.
Today, I was at the Piggly Wiggly picking up some tomatoes for dinner and I happened to choose the one line where the grocery checker reminded me instantly of my Uncle Al. He passed away unexpectedly September 2011. The man in front of me didn't look like my uncle, but he wore his pants like my uncle and he talked to me sweet and southern... like my uncle. He was a bit younger and a bit thinner but I had to blink several times to be sure I wasn't seeing a ghost. The feeling was so real, so present, that it was all I could not to walk around the other side of the counter and ask him to hug me... like my Uncle Al. Needless to say I barely made it to my car before tears started rolling down my face. I love my uncle dearly and miss him tremendously but his memories are strong with me. I am grateful for memories and for little experiences that remind me of how grateful I am for eternity and eternal families... of love that continues beyond the grave.
Saturday, March 31, 2012
that time of year.
It only comes twice a year ... But it is twice so I can't complain. I love General Conference. It is so uplifting, so renewing, so relevant, and so personal. It is for everyone. I am so grateful for a living prophet in these days... In my days. I need that Prophetic guidance and counsel. I was reminded today that I have a testimony, a knowledge, that there is a prophet on the earth, that it is presently Thomas S. Monson, and that he is the mouthpiece for the Lord. So grateful and awestruck I am by this knowledge. The lord truly loves His children.
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