triggers.

In my job I deal a lot with the concept of triggers.... not the ones on guns... but same concept.  Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, touches... sensory experiences that instantly elicit memories so vivid and real it is as if time has turned back to a specific event or series of events. 

Chocolate flavored scratch and sniff stickers take me instantly to elementary school. 

The smell of pork flavored green beans mixed with the scent of sauerkraut elicits memories of time spent at my grandparents home.

NKOTB's "Hanging Tough", Def Leopard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me", and Fleetwood Mac's "Everywhere" throws me back to summers at the beach with my cousins.  Every time.

White Diamonds perfume takes me to middle school... instantly... and reminds me of my mother and my secret irrational fear that I would lose her.  I would secretly spray her perfume on this stuffed bunny I kept on the night stand by my bed just in case something happened and I never saw her again.  I was so afraid I would forget her.... that my memories would fade.

Today, I was at the Piggly Wiggly picking up some tomatoes for dinner and I happened to choose the one line where the grocery checker reminded me instantly of my Uncle Al.  He passed away unexpectedly September 2011.  The man in front of me didn't look like my uncle, but he wore his pants like my uncle and he talked to me sweet and southern... like my uncle.  He was a bit younger and a bit thinner but I had to blink several times to be sure I wasn't seeing a ghost.  The feeling was so real, so present, that it was all I could not to walk around the other side of the counter and ask him to hug me... like my Uncle Al.  Needless to say I barely made it to my car before tears started rolling down my face.  I love my uncle dearly and miss him tremendously but his memories are strong with me.  I am grateful for memories and for little experiences that remind me of how grateful I am for eternity and eternal families... of love that continues beyond the grave. 

that time of year.

It only comes twice a year ... But it is twice so I can't complain. I love General Conference. It is so uplifting, so renewing, so relevant, and so personal. It is for everyone. I am so grateful for a living prophet in these days... In my days. I need that Prophetic guidance and counsel. I was reminded today that I have a testimony, a knowledge, that there is a prophet on the earth, that it is presently Thomas S. Monson, and that he is the mouthpiece for the Lord. So grateful and awestruck I am by this knowledge. The lord truly loves His children.

blogs & spies

BLOGS:  I haven't blogged in forever.  Not because I haven't had tons of things to say but because I've just been blog lazy.  I'm trying to do better.  I really have so many things to say that I'm sure the world wide web is just dying to hear... or umm... read.

SPIES:  So the plural of the word spy looks really weird to me.  But, this is not why I am choosing to blog about spies.  Recently I had a conversation with one of my dearest friends... the one with short dark curly hair who shall remain nameless.... about being noticed and remembered.  See, I can meet someone on say a Tuesday and have my hair down.  The next day, a Wednesday, I can have my hair pulled up into a pony tail and meet the same person and it's like they've never met me before.  I kid you not.  People usually don't believe me until they've seen it happen.  But, my curly dark haired friend who shall remain nameless is remembered everywhere.  We went furniture shopping for her this weekend and sales people she met over a week ago remember her.  In one store the clerk remembered what she had been shopping for several weeks prior right down to the size and color of the item.  I've never seen anything like it.  I decided her life must be what it's like for the rich and famous.  (Of course she is not my first friend with this problem... hmmm... Dinahmite).  You can't go anywhere without being recognized.  But my life is like that of a spy.  All I have to do is put on a pair of glasses, part my hair down the middle, and suddenly I'm a totally different person.  I can move in and out of spaces without being remembered or sometimes even seen.  Too bad I don't have some cool power like the ability to fly.... then I could "take it to the next level" and become a superhero.

25 at 33

Even though I still feel like a 20something I know I'm getting older.  I have gray hair.  My body weight is shifting and, unfortunately, sticking around.  The other morning I was watching the news while putting on makeup.  Something funny was said and I realized that I'm getting the first hints of laugh lines and wrinkles.  Now I've always had a baby face and people usually think I look younger than I am but for the first time I have started to see my "age".  I have creaky bones, I like to stay in more than go out, and I think missionaries look like they are 12.

Despite obvious signs of aging I have found another phenomenon to occurring.  Because I am not married people assume I am in my mid twenties.  Yet, I have some friends who are in their mid twenties, who are married, and people assume they are in their early thirties.  It's so weird.  The age increases for those married couples who have kids.  The phenomenon occurs even when the individual is 10 years my junior.  It is so bizarre.  I definitely don't look younger than they do but somehow my not having a husband or kids automatically puts me in the young category.  Don't get me wrong... I'm fine with people wanting to think I am a mid twenty something.  But, I'm also fine with being 33.  Getting old hasn't started to get me down... yet.  I hope it never does.  I like birthdays way too much.