With the promise of a new year and fresh starts we have already seen much of sadness and destruction. Just recently Haiti was rocked with a powerful earthquake and strong aftershocks. The death toll in that country is already over 150,000 and the count continues to rise. It is hard for me to even wrap my mind around that number. I sit here feeling helpless and wanting to do more. The LDS church released the following statement.
The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints issued the following statement today:
Our hearts are filled with sadness as we have watched the suffering in Haiti in the wake of the devastating earthquake. We turn to the example of Jesus Christ who reached out to “lift up the hands which hang down” and “strengthen the feeble knees.” We are keenly aware that many in America are dealing with economic challenges caused by the recession. However, we are appealing to members to donate to Church Humanitarian Services as their means allow in order to help our Haitian brothers and sisters. Many have already contributed and others are anxious to do so.
Money is not the only need in Haiti. People are frightened, bewildered, and wholly uncertain about their future. In addition to what people can do in helping with food, water and shelter, there needs to be a calming influence over that troubled nation. We invite our people everywhere to supplicate God for a spirit of calm and peace among the people as urgent aid and reconstruction efforts continue.
( http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/ )
Even though physically I cannot be there to comfort, I can do my part by sending monetary donations and offering up prayers on behalf of my Haitian brothers and sisters. The promised blessings are that if we seek the Lord we will be comforted in times like these. In Isaiah 51 and again in 2 Nephi 8:1-3 we are taught that if we look to the Lord, the gospel, the Abrahamic covenant... if we put our focus there "...the Lord shall comfort Zion, he will comfort all her waste places; and he will make her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness shall be found therein, thanksgiving and the voice of melody." If we seek the Lord, seek to do His will, the promised blessings will be ours. We can be comforted and we can comfort those in need if we turn to the Lord.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
blue moons and recollections.
First of all... Happy New Year! Welcome 2010. Peace out 2009. Finally. Normally I don't make it a habit to wish my life away (well, at least not since I became an adult and realized how fast time flies) but I didn't much care for this past year and I'm looking forward to some change. Bienvenido 2010... he estoy esperandote.
Tonight while watching the last 5 minutes before the flashy ball on a stick in NYC descend I learned that it is the night of a blue moon. True story. Apparently, for those who aren't already in the know, a blue moon is when there is a full moon twice in the same month. It only happens once every 19 years. Who knew? Ryan Seacrest... that's who. So that is where the saying "Once in a blue moon" came from. Never thought I'd have an education lesson during a NYE celebration. Guess there is a first for everything.
So, that got me thinking about 19 years ago. Nineteen years ago I was 12. I'm sure I stayed up for the NYE celebration but I don't remember it. What I do remember about being 12 is that I was in middle school, with a bad perm and big hair, braces, and glasses. Awww - kward. I was shy and self-conscious. All too aware of my inadequacies and imperfections compared with seemingly perfect and put together girls around me. Not much has changed. The bad perm and big hair have been substituted by random unruly offshoots of gray. My braces are gone and contacts replace glasses, most of the time. I'm still shy and self-conscious at times and still catch myself comparing all my worst qualities to all the great ones of those who surround me. I've gotten better and more realistic but some habits can be hard to break. I'm sure no one else suffers from this malady. :)
As for 10 years ago... the beginning of this past decade... well, I was on my mission. I had been in the field for two months and as far as the world was concerned.. it was the end. Computers were set to crash, Y2K, yada yada yada. Guess everyone got their panties in a wad for nothing. I stood in my bed against the large window in my apartment's front room (we all slept in the living room.. it was like a slumber party every night). I watched the fireworks go off, consequently setting off car alarms and dog howls. I listened to people cheering and banging pots and pans (homemade noisemakers). I oohed and awwed cheesily into some hand held recording device. I thought about my family and what the celebration was like at home. I thought about the changes I needed to make to be a better missionary. I was a little homesick but mostly grateful for the opportunity to be in such a beautiful country, surrounded by some of the most amazing people, serving and teaching. I miss those days. It is one of my most cherished experiences and I'm eternally grateful to have had the opportunity.
A lot has happened in the past 10 years, mostly good.. scratch that... mostly great. I have been richly and abundantly blessed. I count you as part of that blessing. I'm looking forward to what this new year and new decade has to offer. My goal...To be excellent.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=ca2684d4a0a0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Thank you for helping me in that journey.
Happy New Year.
Tonight while watching the last 5 minutes before the flashy ball on a stick in NYC descend I learned that it is the night of a blue moon. True story. Apparently, for those who aren't already in the know, a blue moon is when there is a full moon twice in the same month. It only happens once every 19 years. Who knew? Ryan Seacrest... that's who. So that is where the saying "Once in a blue moon" came from. Never thought I'd have an education lesson during a NYE celebration. Guess there is a first for everything.
So, that got me thinking about 19 years ago. Nineteen years ago I was 12. I'm sure I stayed up for the NYE celebration but I don't remember it. What I do remember about being 12 is that I was in middle school, with a bad perm and big hair, braces, and glasses. Awww - kward. I was shy and self-conscious. All too aware of my inadequacies and imperfections compared with seemingly perfect and put together girls around me. Not much has changed. The bad perm and big hair have been substituted by random unruly offshoots of gray. My braces are gone and contacts replace glasses, most of the time. I'm still shy and self-conscious at times and still catch myself comparing all my worst qualities to all the great ones of those who surround me. I've gotten better and more realistic but some habits can be hard to break. I'm sure no one else suffers from this malady. :)
As for 10 years ago... the beginning of this past decade... well, I was on my mission. I had been in the field for two months and as far as the world was concerned.. it was the end. Computers were set to crash, Y2K, yada yada yada. Guess everyone got their panties in a wad for nothing. I stood in my bed against the large window in my apartment's front room (we all slept in the living room.. it was like a slumber party every night). I watched the fireworks go off, consequently setting off car alarms and dog howls. I listened to people cheering and banging pots and pans (homemade noisemakers). I oohed and awwed cheesily into some hand held recording device. I thought about my family and what the celebration was like at home. I thought about the changes I needed to make to be a better missionary. I was a little homesick but mostly grateful for the opportunity to be in such a beautiful country, surrounded by some of the most amazing people, serving and teaching. I miss those days. It is one of my most cherished experiences and I'm eternally grateful to have had the opportunity.
A lot has happened in the past 10 years, mostly good.. scratch that... mostly great. I have been richly and abundantly blessed. I count you as part of that blessing. I'm looking forward to what this new year and new decade has to offer. My goal...To be excellent.
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=ca2684d4a0a0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
Thank you for helping me in that journey.
Happy New Year.
Friday, December 25, 2009
Christmas Joy.
Christmas is such a special time of year. I love the lights. There is something magical about the lights. They shine so brightly. I love to sit in the dark, with only the Christmas tree lights illuminated, and contemplate. I find that when I focus on the light and ponder issues that normally create within me conflict or unrest I am filled with peace. I can sort through my thoughts without the disruptive feelings of frustration or confusion. The light calms me. With it I feel warm and secure. I think that is why the Savior is compared to light... the Light of the world. Light always chases away the dark. Always.
This Christmas I have found myself contemplating many things... doubts, worries, my future... aaagh... what to do with my future?! I realized that I needed to do something each day to have the Spirit of Christ with me. This will illuminate my course. I had the opportunity to hear the testimonies of my parents and my grandfather. Hearing their testimonies helped me to recognize how the actively seeking the presence of the Lord's light in their lives has helped to change them, to better them, to solidify for each of them the peaceful reassurances that only a knowledge of the gospel can bring. I can't wait until Christmas to focus on the light. It is something I must actively pursue each day. Sheri Dew said, "We are the followers of Jesus Christ. And we have been His followers and have loved Him for a long, long time. Nothing is more important than working and sacrificing and enduring for Him."
This Christmas I am recommitted to a more active pursual of Christ's light in my life. That is my wish for you... my dear family and friends. It is the only way to have certain peace and understanding in this life regardless of the trials or tribulations we experience. I want that comfort for you and me.
I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. I love you.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
the blame game.
Since the beginning of mankind... the Fall of Adam and Eve actually (for my non Mormon peeps... the Fall is when Adam and Eve ate the fruit in the garden of Eden)... man has placed responsibility, for consequences of choices made, on others. Enough already! We all have done it and still do it. Why??? What is so hard about accepting responsibility for feelings we have and choices we make? We even blame "human nature" for the reason we blame. I've thought about this off and on for the past few years but the other night I couldn't fall asleep for thinking about this very topic.
When I was a pre-teen I invited a friend over to stay the night. We painted nails in my room. It was against house rules but I didn't tell her that. After my friend left the next day I was cleaning up the evidence when I reached for the last item, a small full bottle of some brightly colored pink/red nail polish perched high on a dresser. Little did I know, but the top was not screwed all the way on. Just barely actually. Yeah, so not being that tall I had to reach above my head to get the bottle. I picked up the bottle by the brush end and well, it was a hot mess. The bottle dropped to the floor, despite my pleas that it defy gravity, and spilled it's contents all over the light mauve carpet in my room. I tried in vain to clean it up only realizing I was making it worse. So, I quickly devised a plan. I went downstairs and tearfully told my mother what my friend had done, even after I told her that painting nails in the bedroom was against the rules (because it might spill, duh). My mother patiently listened to me and then pointed out that I was lying as the evidence of the spilled nail polish was all down the front of my shirt. A detail I had neglected to notice. I felt like a jerk after that and I got into a lot of trouble. So, why couldn't I just be honest from the beginning? Because I was afraid of getting in trouble. But I made a decision. I broke the rules. With that come consequences. I still got in trouble.
In everything we do our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are involved. I like to explain those three things like they are a family, each with a different role but dependent on one another. In the above incident my feelings were fear and regret. My thoughts were about future punishment and my mother's disappointment. My actions were to lie and to blame. The choice to blame was not my only option. I am not a puppet. No one forced me to take that course of action, to make those words come out of my mouth. I had the option to tell the truth. But I didn't. I think deep down I also felt hopeful because I thought my mom wouldn't find out it was me and I could go on being happy and without punishment. There are always consequences for our decisions. Consequences are unavoidable.
Some of you might look at people like Hitler, who spend a lifetime doing really bad things without apparent consequences. That is just not true. You can run and you can hide... but, you can't hide forever. It is truth. Decisions create consequences. Always. And those consequences will be a direct reflection of the decisions we make. Now, had I decided in that moment to stand up and say to my mom exactly what happened then I still would have gotten in trouble, but there wouldn't be an additional consequence caused by my attempts to lie (e.g. my guilt for disobeying and lying, my mother's hurt, lost trust, etc.) Had the evidence not been so clear and had I effectively deceived my mother I still would have the consequences of a guilty conscience and a dishonest heart. I couldn't have lived peacefully with either of those weighing on my heart and mind.
Recently events at work have only made me more acutely aware of the effect that blaming others for our poor choices can have on an individual, on a spousal relationship, and on a family. Here are some things I've heard recently:
**He/she drives me crazy/makes me so mad.
**I can't because...
**If he/she hadn't... then I wouldn't...
**I only did it/said it because he/she did/said...
**It's not my fault...
Proper ownership would sound more like this:
**I feel ... when this event happens... because I think...
**I don't want to...
**I did this because I chose to get upset/frustrated about...
**I chose to act this way because I didn't like what he/she did/said
**My responsibility in this is...
I think the world would largely be a different place if we would assume responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I feel like we would have more sympathy and forgiveness for others. There would be an increase in trust and a decrease in interpersonal conflict. Healthy communication would abound. Marriage relationships would be strengthened. Parent-child relationships would be more harmonious.
Since this is something we all do... beginning in our very young years... how do we change? Ownership is part of repentance. So maybe the solution lies in utilizing the Atonement in our everyday lives. Christ is the author of our salvation. It is through Him that we can change. Maybe by assuming responsibility with Him first we can have the strength and courage to do that with ourselves and with those in our association. I don't care how old you are or how dismal things may seem, it's not too late to start. It's our choice to make. The blame game ends here.
Now, can someone help me off my soapbox? This one is kinda high.
When I was a pre-teen I invited a friend over to stay the night. We painted nails in my room. It was against house rules but I didn't tell her that. After my friend left the next day I was cleaning up the evidence when I reached for the last item, a small full bottle of some brightly colored pink/red nail polish perched high on a dresser. Little did I know, but the top was not screwed all the way on. Just barely actually. Yeah, so not being that tall I had to reach above my head to get the bottle. I picked up the bottle by the brush end and well, it was a hot mess. The bottle dropped to the floor, despite my pleas that it defy gravity, and spilled it's contents all over the light mauve carpet in my room. I tried in vain to clean it up only realizing I was making it worse. So, I quickly devised a plan. I went downstairs and tearfully told my mother what my friend had done, even after I told her that painting nails in the bedroom was against the rules (because it might spill, duh). My mother patiently listened to me and then pointed out that I was lying as the evidence of the spilled nail polish was all down the front of my shirt. A detail I had neglected to notice. I felt like a jerk after that and I got into a lot of trouble. So, why couldn't I just be honest from the beginning? Because I was afraid of getting in trouble. But I made a decision. I broke the rules. With that come consequences. I still got in trouble.
In everything we do our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are involved. I like to explain those three things like they are a family, each with a different role but dependent on one another. In the above incident my feelings were fear and regret. My thoughts were about future punishment and my mother's disappointment. My actions were to lie and to blame. The choice to blame was not my only option. I am not a puppet. No one forced me to take that course of action, to make those words come out of my mouth. I had the option to tell the truth. But I didn't. I think deep down I also felt hopeful because I thought my mom wouldn't find out it was me and I could go on being happy and without punishment. There are always consequences for our decisions. Consequences are unavoidable.
Some of you might look at people like Hitler, who spend a lifetime doing really bad things without apparent consequences. That is just not true. You can run and you can hide... but, you can't hide forever. It is truth. Decisions create consequences. Always. And those consequences will be a direct reflection of the decisions we make. Now, had I decided in that moment to stand up and say to my mom exactly what happened then I still would have gotten in trouble, but there wouldn't be an additional consequence caused by my attempts to lie (e.g. my guilt for disobeying and lying, my mother's hurt, lost trust, etc.) Had the evidence not been so clear and had I effectively deceived my mother I still would have the consequences of a guilty conscience and a dishonest heart. I couldn't have lived peacefully with either of those weighing on my heart and mind.
Recently events at work have only made me more acutely aware of the effect that blaming others for our poor choices can have on an individual, on a spousal relationship, and on a family. Here are some things I've heard recently:
**He/she drives me crazy/makes me so mad.
**I can't because...
**If he/she hadn't... then I wouldn't...
**I only did it/said it because he/she did/said...
**It's not my fault...
Proper ownership would sound more like this:
**I feel ... when this event happens... because I think...
**I don't want to...
**I did this because I chose to get upset/frustrated about...
**I chose to act this way because I didn't like what he/she did/said
**My responsibility in this is...
I think the world would largely be a different place if we would assume responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I feel like we would have more sympathy and forgiveness for others. There would be an increase in trust and a decrease in interpersonal conflict. Healthy communication would abound. Marriage relationships would be strengthened. Parent-child relationships would be more harmonious.
Since this is something we all do... beginning in our very young years... how do we change? Ownership is part of repentance. So maybe the solution lies in utilizing the Atonement in our everyday lives. Christ is the author of our salvation. It is through Him that we can change. Maybe by assuming responsibility with Him first we can have the strength and courage to do that with ourselves and with those in our association. I don't care how old you are or how dismal things may seem, it's not too late to start. It's our choice to make. The blame game ends here.
Now, can someone help me off my soapbox? This one is kinda high.
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